Miles to go before something dawns

Singhasan khaali karo ke janta aati hai !

2011-08-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

I am completely with the current protests going on in India currently. But, the most important thing which has been taking my time is this – When the current protests end, what will happen?

Frankly speaking, I don’t know the answer to this question. There are multiple paths along which the future may unfold. There can be a situation where the ruling party somehow does a good damage control and capitalizes on its politics to come back to power and punish all those who protested against it. There can be a situation where the ruling party misleads everyone regarding accepting the demands of the protesters at election time to return to power. The ruling party can also come back to power and implement the changes being demanded by the protesters (which seems highly unlikely after seeing the track record of the current government in fulfilling such demands – Telangana issue). There is also the possibility of the opposition party coming back to power. BJP is being provided ample chances to capitalize on the situation and to benefit from it. However, due to lack of internal strength and coordination in the party, the party can easily be misguided. It is a possibility that BJP comes out as a stronger party after these protests and fulfils the demands of the protesters. It is also a possibility that the BJP, due to their inherent weaknesses, lose out on this opportunity to return to power. There is also one other possibility of everything turning violent – The moment things turn violent due to any reason, political parties will be the victors and will easily crush every flame of protest.

The above possibilities were on the political front. The future of the general Indian populace will be quite stark. With the current movement in place, a new public opinion is being created. The public mood of people from all genre is now becoming more vocal against corruption. There is a slight chance that the people might forget the corruption issues while voting (my assumption for this is because of the famous lines from the era of Julius Caesar, “The pulpit is fickle minded”). Irrespective of this, in general, people will apportion a fraction of their time towards thinking about the issue of corruption while voting. This will also have a multiple effect – This protest can have the trickle-down effect in the minds of the people leading them to think seriously and practically about the core issues of social & economic development while electing their representatives.

Complicated

2011-07-29T11:09:00.001-07:00

I Love you..... I cant say that .... I always have to stay mute !!! The one whom i loved immensly thought i was a weird person .... but i love you more than her ... still i cant say that to you !!!
Life is unfair if i say it so ... but it might be fair to prohibit me from saying so ... I dont know ... I only want to lie by your locks and realx in the sun on the beach so that we can jst kiss each other to feel comfortable !!!

Rebirth

2011-03-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

I have realized that there are different kind of people and all need to have a life suited according to their personality. I know who i am and what is my purpose in life ... Mar 27, 2011. Will write on the status of me getting back to my true self in a week

Scared

2011-03-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

Scared for the first time about dying ....

Koi kisi ka nahi yahan pe ...

2011-03-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

Kasmein waade pyaar wafa sab baatein hain … baaton ka kya …
Koi kisi ka nahi ye jhoothe neaten hain … naaton ka kya

Hoga maseeha saamne tere … fir bhi na tu bach paayega …
Tera apnaaa khoon hi aakhir … tujhko aag lagayega …
Aasman ke udne waale …. Mitti mein mil jaayega

Kasmein waade pyaar wafa sab baatein hain … baaton ka kya …
Koi kisi ka nahi ye jhoothe neaten hain … naaton ka kya

Sukh mein tere saath chalenge … dukh mein sab muh modenge …
Duniya waale tere banker … tera hi dil todenge ….
Dete hain bhagwan ko dhoka …. Insaan ko kya chodenge …

Kasmein waade pyaar wafa sab baatein hain … baaton ka kya …
Koi kisi ka nahi ye jhoothe neaten hain … naaton ka kya

The Doctor and the patient

2011-02-16T19:05:00.000-08:00

A person who wants to die is told to do things to increase his life. He has been living like a zombie for the past many years flying with the wind wherever his friends blow him. He laughs and eats with them. Not a single person actually knows him. No one even knows what his favorite food is.
He too seems to think about all the things he wanted stand out far back in time. There is no craving to get to those desires. The only desire of dying is stuck in his heart and he doesn’t care about anything anyone tells him.
He has become quiet in all those discussions he has to be a part of which all tell him to do things to lead a “long and healthy” life. All those suggestions in the discussions are to the point and will be really helpful to increase a healthy lifespan.
He is virtually sitting in a hospital room with white and grey walls, and those discussions are just like the cars honking out on the streets near the ward. He wants to tell the Doctor to remove the life support. The Doctor says that he has given him life and will wait for it to end naturally. The person on the bed is doing everything he can to end his life. But alas the Doctor is saving his life when he wants it to end and the Doctor will be taking his life when he would want to live longer. This piece might not be that coherent and easy to comprehend. But hey! Has anything connected to a human being ever been simple :)

Muskaan = Smile = :)

2011-02-04T05:50:00.000-08:00

aaj aapki muskaan ne jo vaar kara usse kabhi ubar na paayenge....
chand lamhon ka ye saath jindagi bhar na bhul paayenge ....
aapki ek pukaar pe duniya chod aayenge ...

I can Fly

2011-01-30T07:24:00.001-08:00

I told the eagle ... i have seen you for years and now i too can fly...
The eagle dived from the top of the building and so did i ...
The eagle then pulled up and so i tried ...
On hitting the ground with my bloody head and closing eyes ...
I heard the eagle say .. Yes, you can fly ...

Happy New Year

2010-12-25T22:54:00.001-08:00

2010: Lost so many close friends and family that it has broken me from the inside. Makes me think always that why do you want to live and earn and be with people when in the end everyone has to just leave this world without anyone. What is the point of living when no one remains with people whom they care about. i have lost many but the feeling of all those events when I was a kid was not so grave. On growing up all those events get combined and are becoming unbearable. Makes me want to die all the more. I don’t want to make new friends for the simple reason that they will be taken away for sure.
2011: I wish that I have strength in the coming year to become a numb person to all emotions

Leap of Faith

2010-12-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

"If Everybody lies then trust is not only unfounded or pointless , its fiction
But just realised that trust is not an argument that can be won or lost, one just has to take a leap of faith"

No title

2010-12-05T03:35:00.000-08:00

Machine: You seem confused.
Human: Never heard of a machine speak of love.
Machine: Love is just a word. What matters is the connection that word has. Tell me, what you would give to hold on to that connection.
Human: Anything…
Machine: Then probably the reason why you are here is not so different from the reason why I am here

2010-10-02T23:05:00.000-07:00

It was 5 in the morning. My coughing had kept me up all night and I couldn’t sleep any further. With the irritation in my throat I got up and splashed water on my face. Like the involuntary heart beats I opened the door and stepped out of my room with no idea why.
The darkness of the night had faded and the turquoise sky kept me staring at it as if I was following an eagle overhead. The coughing hindered the staring and I looked down towards the park. The old rusted swings on the right were waiting for their first young occupants. The benches were having a sweet dew shower. The leaves of the neem tree were singing in the cool morning breeze.
Getting tired of standing in one place, I started walking towards the gate of the colony to see the world on the other side of the fence. Walking a few meters I reached the market place and was amazed to see the quietness. Images of the place started flashing by in my mind as a movie with shooting done at different points of time. The morning, afternoon, evening and night had a beautiful mix of colours from bright sunshine to tail lights of cars and burning charcoal.
It had gotten brighter in the morning and people had started their daily morning walks and jogs signalling me to return to my room.

Shocks and after effects:

2010-09-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

Any student of fluid mechanics will know the reason for the formation of shocks. When the particles travel with a speed greater than that of speed of sound, a shock is formed. Delving deeper into the physics of it we know that the the point of contact on the surface in a supersonic flow is not receiving information from the particles yet to come over it and hence the flow cannot adjust according to the normal subsonic flow conditions. When the information about the existence of the surface reaches the particles depending upon the speed of sound, the particles change path and that happens at a particular location so as to maintain the conservation equations. The result is a shock wave which is a discontinuity due to jumps observed in the values of measureable quantities such as pressure and temperature. This brief story tells us the importance of flow of information. If a particle/person moves at a faster speed than the speed of the incoming information, i.e., not listening to the information coming to him, he is surely to face a situation as that of a shock with discontinuities across it. On reaching a particular distance from the source of information the person will become aware of the existence of the surface and will have to adjust in a very short duration to avoid damage to himself from the presence of imminent danger in the form of the surface. Had he been more attentive and not moving too fast he would have sensed the presence of the surface/danger and taken a smoother course of action to avoid it (would have had more time to think properly and avoid it). Since he faces a shock now he will have to see discontinuities. Nature is perfect and still it sees discontinuity with huge jumps in pressure and temperature across a shock. Imagine an imperfect man facing that shock. I doubt that a man can be as perfect as nature to bear the shock and move on easily.

Missiles

2010-09-25T03:12:00.000-07:00

The robustness of a system (including an individual’s life) determines how well a system has been planned to achieve the end objective. Just like a missile has a robust system where a particular control action is activated on facing a particular situation to maintain course, heading, velocity and other parameters. There is no governing equation for the flight of a missile. It has different control actions for different plausible scenarios and which it follows strictly. Our lives also have a system and we should also follow the principles followed by the missile to make our lives and those of others happy.

Beautiful anger

2010-09-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

Aankhon mein shararat si hai ...
Hothon pe muskaraht si hai ...
Saanse bhi thami si hai ...
Aapke gusse bhare shabdon ki ada qaatilana si hain ..

Anger control ...

2010-08-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

The world is after all full of assholes who have nothing better in life to do except putting the blame of anything going wrong on others. I had one such encounter today evening and it was with my landlord. Before I begin with the instances I would like to describe a bit of the background before the encounter. On 25 Jul my landlord had gone out of station for a month long vacation. Sometime in august a chunk of the roof had fallen on my head causing a minor swelling. Yesterday evening while sitting on the laptop the entire fan fell hitting my shoulder and my head. Today morning the landlord returned from his vacations. Today morning the electrician came and fixed the fan. Now comes the encounter with my landlord. I came to my room after a walk on the street and switched on the fan. My landlord barges in from the balcony and shouts at me “there was an aluminium cap on the head of the fan. Where is it?”
Me: I don’t know uncle. I have never noticed.
Landlord: For how many days have you been living here.
Me: Around six months.
Landlord: You are staying here for six months and you never looked at the cap.
Me: Yeah, I don’t remember and I don’t look at the fan.
Landlord: Then where is the cap?
Me: I don’t know. I will look on the floor.
Landlord: It was there before you came. Someone must have played with the fan.
Me: I don’t know anything about it. (Inside me : Are u crazy u dumbass. Why will I tamper with the fan knowing that if it falls I will die.)
Me: (looking very angry)
Landlord: You want to leave, its fine but someone played with the fan.

During this accusation game I was so damn pissed off that would have shouted and abused him had he not been an elderly person. God give me the patience to bear his stupidity next time because if I lose my temper then he will get all sorts of slangs from me and probably have a high BP

Goals...

2010-08-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

Every human being has in born capabilities to become a great person. What does then stop from many and only a select few become great? Where does the answer lie? Do I become like most other people and blame the externalities for the cause? I too blame externalities quite a lot but use it only as a de stressing mechanism. I must warn myself from the fact that one can easily get lost in blaming externalities to even forget the truth. But coming back to the question what stops most of the people from becoming great. The answer which I can see is that a person himself becomes a hurdle to himself becoming great. Great people are the ones who always respect nature and keep in mind how nature works. They try to do the same kind of things. Success and fame starts coming to him. The ones who get dazzled by the limelight and start enjoying that lose their focus for a substantial amount of time. Those remaining humble and not getting into the seeming world of fame and boastfulness stay focused to reaching the goal of become great or achieving the objective they set forth for themselves. Greatness here is assumed as the achievement of a goal. There are thousands of addictions and distractions in the world and everyone is bound to fall into them. the question is whether one has the capabilities to judge the wrong addiction and get out of it with minimum wastage of time and energy. What is the best way to stop one from falling into addictions which distract the person from the main aim? Is it banning of all the addictions? Or is it training the individual to work towards his goal despite hundreds of addictions? It is for us to choose. I can speak safely that getting addicted to good things such as studying or staying a disciplined life not only leads to a fresher human mind (which is the machine to create wonders in the world) but also leads towards the goal by setting up a good system or a framework which takes care of itself and protects from accidental deviation from the path towards the goal. We are the creators of our own fates and also the destroyers. It all depends when our eyes open and when we start implementing all the good ideas coming to our minds.

In The End

2010-07-27T05:29:00.000-07:00

The reddish sun setting on a cloudy evening drew my attention like a pin prick. The beauty in the end of anything is so startling that makes one look at everything in the most beautiful way. The end of anything makes one look everything in the most pristine manner. The leaves of trees also at the end of the day finally get to taste oxygen and enjoy for a moment for them. the night of enjoyment by the tree gives it the strength to inhale poison the next day. The end cleans up everything and gives a fresh beginning. For trees its easy because they are made for that. I think humans are also made for that with the only difference that humans have brains and we think. Our brain separates us from all other living beings but at times one wants that we didn’t have such a complex brain. It would have been much easier than to see our purposes which just like trees is to take in poison and give out life supporting vibes (like oxygen by trees). But we are stuck with brains which think too much and look for easier ways always. Nature has always intrigued man since the beginning leading man towards religion or science for that matter. Why don’t we straight away look at nature and learn what it does and what is expected of humans as well. Even an ant works for the betterment of the community of ants it lives in. The inanimate things like the water cycle where water from oceans after lots of changes becomes water again in the end and during the entire process it helps in helping others. Be it the precipitation which fills in lakes for animal consumption or evaporation from oceans which leads to ocean currents leading to sustaining of aquatic life. Why are we humans so selfish? Should I praise or blame the human brain for it, I don’t know.

Err

2010-07-25T23:29:00.001-07:00

After a long time I have figured out that it is the nature of human life to present problems and give failures to people. The ones who are most immune to it while focused towards their larger goal are the ones who finally do something worthy. The faster the person recovers from the failure and start thinking logically then the problems will themselves get scared of it. This is the way of speaking it to kids so that they follow it blindly. Later on in life people themselves think and understand it. The objective should not suffer at any cost. The person will be called a stone cold person but to achieve something one has to lose something and in this case it becomes losing being human. A stupid dialogue of transformers comes to my mind at this point, ”No sacrifice, no victory”. To do something great one has to lose things which would give him/her personal happiness and relaxation.

The balance

2010-07-17T01:07:00.001-07:00

I want to speak something to someone but cant speak that .... some bonds of words with someone prevent me from speaking my heart out.. dunno how long will this troubling life go on :)

Stagnation

2010-06-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

Standing on the divider on the middle of the street, a woman trying to cook something in a pot on a pile of burning woods, traffic on one side of the street, fish and vegetables market on the other side .... time passing by without me moving ...

Inflation

2010-01-07T22:46:00.000-08:00

All of us here at home listen frequently to the fact that all the essential commodities are become costlier by the day. Who is to blame? Was it in the hands of the government that the prices of commodities would have been low if they had taken adequate steps earlier on? Or is government helpless and inflation is just the result of economic recovery? These are the answers which come on to our minds many times and we are speechless. With regards to the calculation of inflation percentage as everyone knows that the Indian government way of calculating inflation is highly flawed and an eyewash with the prices of black and white TVs still being considered for the calculation of inflation. Still returning to the important question who is responsible. I have no idea as to who is the culprit. I only have information and facts which show things as to how time passed by since the summers of 2009. Summers of 2009: the prices of commodities were in control. Governments all over the world were pouring huge funds for helping the world economy. There was cheap credit in the market and people were hungry for returns on their investments. First I would like to make certain points clear as to the class of investors and the reason for investors investing/betting in various products. The basic fact is that a person who takes the least amount of risk is bound to invest in products which are 100% safe (government bonds/gold/commodities). Then as the risk appetite of the investor increases he starts investing in riskier products (equity markets). So in the 1st quarter of 2009 with cheap credit available, people started investing in bond markets as the government had huge bond issuances frequently to fund the financial stimulus plans governments had implemented. Along with this there was the option of buying gold as it is considered safer than government bonds. At this point an important event happened. With “some” logic in mind the Indian central bank started buying gold. The prices of gold reached to $1000 per ounce. The technical analysis was showing that gold is rallying and has come at an important level after which it has always reverted in the past. There was one important difference though. The indicators were showing this time that gold was not overbought this time as it had been in the past at the $1000 mark. And this is what happened next. It was around the time of diwali when gold crossed $1000 mark and sustained over there. The prices of gold never went below 1000 after that. So, who was this buyer who was buying so much of gold? It was our own Indian central bank. The reason for the central bank to go long in gold is still a matter of speculation and everywhere in the world people have different reasons. The most important reason which I can think of and which can easily be wrong is the credibility of USD as the reserve currency of the world. It can be said thus that the Indian government according to the rules is building up gold reserves so that when a new reserve currency is about to be formed or is spoken about then the bullion reserve of india will make INR more valuable. This can be a perfectly logical reason except of the fact that people here fail to take into mind that US government and the western nations have a very beautiful way of taking supremacy by changing the rules of the game and they can easily make some other thing as a benchmark to make a world reserve currency. It’s a very big gamble by the Indian government because if the gamble becomes successful then INR and india will become a global strongman. But due to this thing what happened is to be seen now. All the other commodities like oil, metals, agri products, food, fiber…. Everything started becoming more costly. (theres a general tendency of commodities to follow gold). So the situation now is that everything is extremely costly and whether it is right or wrong will only be known If the purchasing power of people increases proportionately. We can just wait to see what happens in the future. Lets see if things improve for the better of all of us

Morning 1...The trip which all @AERO2k5 batch will remember for their entire lives

2009-12-21T07:13:00.000-08:00

The details of the train journey from Mumbai to Kanpur is not available with me except for the fact which rakesh told me about the food getting over in a matter of a few minutes and that he was not able to reach his coach at night. The trip for me began from Bokaro where the heat wave was getting worse every day. Was at home for a few days and then boarded the train for Kanpur. Beofre I caught this terrible insomnia after college, I used to be like a person who can sleep for 30 hrs straight on a train journey. This journey was different. It was around midnight when the train had reached gaya and I had alighted from the train to have the delicious raam dana ki lai (which Is a local sweet dish and is sold only in the few districts surrounding gaya) along with my favorite anarsa which again is a local delicacy. Munching onto the sweet snacks I boarded the train again, checked my luggage and sat down on my seat. I was too worried about what we were going to do in Kanpur thinking about the flight mechanics shit I had to use in the lab and all weird geeky tensions :P. By the time I was feeling drowsy and was about to lie down for a nap, the coach attendant comes and says, “Bhaiyya ji Kanpur aane waala hai 15 min mein.” I looked at my watch and it showed 4 am. I alighted from the train at Kanpur and I don’t remember the time but I can remember that it was dark outside. I took my bag and went out of the station for a smoke and saw a thin pume of smoke rising from a choolah at a dhaba outside the railway station. The poor guy also hadn’t got up and was lighting the fire in his sleep when I asked him if there was anything hot to eat or drink only to get a very polite reply,” Bhaiyya ji abhi tak to doodh waala doodh bhi leke nahi aaya hai. Thoda der susta lijiye aap bhi khatiya pe fir doodh garam karke dete hain.” Worried about theft of my luggage I put my luggage in the cloak room and came and slept on the khatiya over there. I don’t remember how long I slept only that I could see the reddish glow in the sky. I always get this weird look from people when I tell them that I don’t drink tea. After this inevitably everyone asks me where I am from and on hearing Jharkhand/bihar everyone with a smile on their faces say,” Bhai tum chaai kaise nahi peete . Humko to vishwas hi nahi ho raha.” Anyways after convincing the chaaiwaala that I will be happy with hot milk I started calling sat yam and varun who were also supposed to come directly from their homes and were to reach early in the morning.Finally I got through to satyam and met him at the station. We searched for any conveyance which might have been arranged for us and found out a queue of cars lined up with labels having IIT Bombay and some other stuff on them. Varun also arrived by around 6 30 in the morning by his train. Finally the troupe from Mumbai arrived all laughing loudly with aadil and CB shouting for a cigarette coz of the long wait they had to have in the train. Finally Satyam, Varun, Rocky and myself got into our indica and thus began our Kanpur trip.

Life in Kolkata...

2009-09-18T13:53:00.001-07:00

For I in range (weekdays)
Life in Kolkata:
Morning 11 am : Wake up hurriedly (the hurry makes me to wake up by 11 45). Get ready for work by 12 15 pm.
12 30pm: On the street looking for a cab to go to office
12 35pm: Punch into office.
12 35pm: Have fruits and head for Bloomberg
12 45pm: On the desk and seeing numbers and charts trying to rack my brains to enter into a trade
1 00pm: Market opens and the slaughter begins
In between 1pm to 5pm: Trade and try(only try.. coz if I struggle then I make losses :P) to make profits and a quick 10 minute lunch.
5pm to 5 40 pm: Locked on to the screen to wait for the US pits to open
5 40pm to 7 00pm: Pits open with a bang and crazy moves. Try to figure out the view of Americans and trade in the most competitive market.
7 00pm: Dow Jones opens and another crazy move occurs
9 30pm till 11pm: The most reactive time of the markets where lots of money can be made and lost… so again glued to numbers and charts
And ya in between 9 30 to 11 pm a small 10 minute dinner break.
11 30pm: Punch out of office
11 30pm to midnight: Look for a taxi to ferry us home.
12 30 am: Reach home
12 30 am to 2 or 3 am: Some stuff here and there at home and then finally try to sleep which is the most elusive of all things.
End

Digital vs. Analog

2009-08-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

An interesting topic to write on especially in this world of automation and computers. Everywhere there is the buzz of computers. Many people also know the mantra of digital and analog devices. Computers heavily rely on digital logic to mimic the analog world. Important thing to note here is that the world is analog and computers working on digital logic are always in a self correcting mode to reduce errors. The analog world works on the principle of flow.
Likewise there are two kinds of people. One of them being the analog types who develop an instinctive gut feel and work on their gut. They also sometimes call it the flow of life wherein they easily feel the situations and react instinctively in the correct manner. The analog kind of people when learn something keep that as a life long fact and never ever repeat mistakes, thus adding to their gut instincts.
Then comes the digital type. Everything for digital people is either 0 or 1. They build their complex logic and lines on the basis of either yes or no, either this or that. This doesn’t mean that they are always like that. They also have complex algorithms to understand when to be in doubt and when to be clear. But the basic flaw in digital people being that they are only trying to mimic the world on the basis of zeros and ones. To overcome this flaw the digital kind of people adopt strict corrective measures at all times so that the error in approximation is kept within limits. There are also thousands of external errors which if being completely new can cause the digital system to add huge errors to their system and still think that they are correct without even knowing that they don’t have a control system for the new kind of error. The control systems of digital people is not that robust as the analog type and thus the digital kind regularly needs some kind of maintenance and overhaul wherein the concerned people stay alone in an environment with virtually no interference and remove the systemic errors, fine tune themselves and make their systems more robust. Analog kind of people do these things unconsciously and that too in a very fast manner as they have developed a gut feel and gut feel is the best thing to work on.
P.S. A lot of control system terminology has been used in the above abstract and thus should be understood by knowing the correct meaning of the terminology.
Also this is an unedited version so might not be a perfect piece....

The temple visit

2009-05-26T06:44:00.001-07:00

The day began at 4 30 in the morning with me at my brother’s place and having a nice nap when the alarm buzzes me up and the reminder tells me to get ready to drive with my parents to this temple called rajrappa which is around 60 kms from bokaro. My mom was supposed to wake us up and she calls me up at around 4 30 to get ready to leave at 6. But it was our bad luck that we both had gotten ready by then and were pissed off to get up so early after sleeping at 2 in the morning. Anyways mom and dad reached that place by 5 30 and our journey started. The cool breeze was so refreshing that I guess no air conditioner can ever equal the freshness and coolness of that air. My brother and I were sitting at the backseat and were chatting in hushed tones about our fun at college and suddenly laughing on seeing a few things outside. We reached the temple after an hour’s drive where I also had got the chance to drive for some portion on the highway.
Anyways the scene at the temple was like that of a festival even at 8 in the morning with a huge crowd going toward the temple with small goats being towed by them. The speciality of this temple is that animal sacrifice is offered at this place. We went in the queue and started waiting for our turn. While in the queue two guys ahead of us at a turning got so busy in looking over the parapet that they forgot that they were in a queue. My brother noticed the gap in the queue and hinted me that we should just simply go in front of them and thus reduce the waiting time. But by then the people started shouting over the two busy parapet guys to move and our plans were ruined. But the interest in the parapet had grown in all the people there just on seeing the devotion of the two guys towards it. We also saw what it was and for the first time in my life I saw a goat being slaughtered in front of me in the style of a sacrifice.
We moved ahead, went in the temple, did our prayers and then had to return through the place of the sacrifice. The whole path was bloody and I was jumping on the ground like a rabbit to just keep from stepping on blood.
This was the bloodiest temple visit of my life. Some people were shocked at the sight of the sacrifice, some adored it, some were awestruck and some were dumbstruck. I don’t know what happened to me but I surely felt like killing the people who were sacrificing goats.

To be or not to be...

2009-05-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

The increase in IITs surely has given the people of India a reason to smile. More IITs mean more chance of many other aspiring students to reach the institutes of excellence. The place which proves to be a launch pad for many students to make it big in the world. These and many other “good things” are there with the increase in seats and increase in the number of IITs itself.
But there is a vast difference in what students inside IIT think and what students outside think on this issue. For every IIT aspirant the increase in seats is a welcome gesture. Some of us who study in IITs however have our own reservations. I am just one of the few people voicing my concerns. When we entered IITs there were seven IITs. Now according to latest data there are fifteen. Of the new eight IITs there are none have a permanent campus let alone proper infrastructural facilities required to make it to the standards of an IIT. Many new IITs have their students attending classes in their mentor IITs putting an extra strain on the already poor infrastructural facilities and the staff. The few grave immediate problems which the students will face as I see are as follows: (most of the facts told will be on the basis of IIT Bombay)
1. Accommodation and mess
Well this is a very serious issue with a severe crunch of hostels. Currently there are 13 hostels in IIT Bombay. There are currently 4 hostels catering only to the PGs. And there are PGs distributed in other hostels as well. In the remaining hostels where UGs live there is a severe shortage of rooms already with students poised to remain double till their final year. In IIT Bombay the rooms are meant for single occupancy and except 3 hostels all other rooms are so small that with 2 beds in one room there is no space even to walk let alone sit on a desk and read. In the three hostels with slightly larger rooms the condition is only marginally better. The situation in the mess is such that during lunch time when all the inmates of the hostel go in the mess to eat then there is no space to stand and the food takes like forever to reach due to a lower number of mess staff.
2. Availability of classrooms to conduct classes for larger batches
The scene in the classrooms in a majority of the classrooms is such that if there is full attendance on someday then from the coming batches students will have to sit out of the class and will not even be able to learn a bit. Many classrooms are also ill equipped to handle large number of students with no PA system and the electronic teaching aid meant only for a smaller class.
3. Lesser workspace in labs and fewer faculty for a larger batch of students
The situation in this is even worse. The situation is so bad that if one professor goes on leave or sabbatical or due to some other reason has to miss classes for a week then there are no professors in that field to take over and teach the students. In the current size of classes itself the professors find it difficult to teach the entire class with most of the students not being able to keep up to the mark in the subject. And the result of this is that students who somehow pay less attention in the class or if the professor is unable to convey then most of the class fails in exams.
4. Placements and further studies
This is the most important section for students. After all it is the dream of every student in IIT to get a job which is a bit better than those not in IITs. There are also many who wish to pursue a MS in their subject. For those who wish to pursue MS or PhDs from India or abroad is reducing day by day. And even this class of students wish to have a job first and then see their options in further studies. Considering the fact that IITs are institutes of technologies then there should be enough jobs in each of the branches in India to absorb the students passing out from the IITs. To be frank and being a student who has seen placements for 4 years I have found that there are rarely any technical companies coming to IITs. Their reason: “We cant pay the students the amount of salary being demanded by the placement team.” Why does the placement team demand more salary for the students sitting for placements? The reason is simple that non tech companies are offering huge amounts of salaries in comparison to the tech ones. But the number of jobs created in India in these sectors are not increasing at the same pace as the increment in the number of seats or IITs. Even with lesser strength the placements stats in IITs rarely reach 100% barring a few branches for which the salaries in tech companies are in comparison to the non tech ones. The issue of placement needs an entire blog and I wont be able to do justice to it over here and can only show some points here.

It is a good move to increase the intake in IITs and to increase the number of seats in IITs but the basic issues need to be addressed. I just tried to pen down a few points coming to my mind.

Snake Vs Prof :P

2008-10-17T01:06:00.000-07:00

The class was going on fine as usual with people straining hard to listen to the prof. I on the other hand was continuing with my daily routine in lectures which I had made for this sem. I was playing snake on my cell phone and not listening a bit to whatever the prof was speaking or shouting. I wasn’t even making any noise. The prof gives a problem and starts moving around the class to see the progress of students. I remember his last words which sounded like solve this problem. Loathingly I put my cell in my pocket which with a chocolate as its content was mocking me that it got just some more time before it died in my stomach. Forcibly I took a sheet and solved the problem in an arbit manner which by the way was the correct solution. The prof resumed his lecturing and me playing. This time I was flaunting the cell on the desk conspicuously with zilch amount of attention to what was happening around me. The killer smile of the prof became the guillotine for my execution. Smiling as usual he reached my desk and on hearing a louder voice I quickly held the phone in my hand under the desk. I told him that I had solved the problem he had given and showed him my sheet and wished later on that I had not shown it to him. He straightaway told me that I was doing something on my cell probably messaging (yeah right like anyone is dying for my sms). I said sorry and thought that now he would go away and start teaching. The executioner was not done with me. He wanted to torture my dead body still more and threatened me (this time without the smile) that next time he sees my cell in my hand he will lift and throw me out of the class! I looked shell shocked at him. What the hell just happened to this peace loving prof suddenly. Its not that I had disturbed anyone in the class or was making a noise to get this kind of threat( these kinds of threats are really very dangerous for the CPI health of an individual). He returned to what he was doing and I started writing this on a notebook and the class ended.

Jaane kya hoga … kya hoga … kya pata

2008-07-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

Jaane kya hoga … kya hoga … kya pata

The days are gone now when the IITs were considered to be the places where any student would study peacefully in his own room without any disturbance and use the facilities of the department for research. People always blame the students that they neglect studies here in the institute. No one even cares to give it a thought as to why the students are behaving like this. I will tell you how the students here in IITs become like they are seen by the professors. The first year is the year when after 2 or 3 years of hard work a student leaves home for the first time to come to IIT and fulfil his dream of doing research oriented studies. This is what we are best at but in the first year. First few weeks pass by with almost full attendance. In those weeks a lot happens in the hostels which affects the freshies to a great extent. Any freshie coming to IIT knows that in the end he will be surely getting a job in the final year with a very high package. What he doesn’t know outside the insti that those jobs are not from the tech sector of jobs. They are completely different kind of jobs requiring completely different skills altogether. So the first thing happening in the hostels at the mess table is that the freshie just out of curiosity brings a glass for a senior and then asks him about the job scenario. The scenario presented to him shocks the tender mind of a fast maturing brain. And the scenario presented is not a fake one but the truth. The scenario as it stands now is that if one wants to work in India with the aspirations of high paying job in the tech field (barring a few streams) then he would have to remain jobless. Thus the natural question in the young mind comes to be how to get the high paying job which (what the hell) requires some skills completely different from the tech skills being imparted to him in the insti. And thus the freshies are also inducted into the non tech brigade from the first year. Only in third year do those freshies realize that the advice of the seniors in the first year itself had helped them to be in a position to get a good job. The tech interest which should have been groomed from the first year by means of interaction in various research projects doesnot happen. The course structure forces you to study the strict pattern of courses with no emphasis on research. The first interaction with research for any student here at IITB comes in the third year in the form of a seminar. But thanks to the insti the seminar has half the credits in comparison to a theory course. Why will I do any research oriented study if it has very less impact on my grades? So again the insti loses out on many young minds where the seeds of research had survived the flooding in the monsoons but gets crushed in the winter. So the crop now consists only of a few plants struggling to insulate itself from the blinding heat of the insti just so that they can get abroad to realize their dreams of MS or PhD.

LIVE LIFE….KING SIZE :P

2008-06-26T11:04:00.001-07:00

LIVE LIFE….KING SIZE :P

Some people might argue that I have no right to say this statement. But I strongly feel that after reading this thoughts might change. It all began with one day when I was In class 4 or 5. I had no friends. Can’t believe it!!! But its true. I was a stupid person neither capable of making long chats nor a good student. I used to score somewhere in 60s or 70s. I was really fed up with life and no one knew that. Then someone suggested me to study so hard and become the topper of the class so that no one would ever bother me. I, me, myself was the principle which got into my mind. I have to achieve the greatest success in life which no one ever has achieved. So began my journey towards studies. By God’s grace I studied well and in 2 years became the topper in my school. After that every year I almost broke one record or the other in scoring marks in various exams of various teachers. All the while I was ignorant of what life can also have, good or bad. I never socialized. I was afraid of speaking to girls and ran away as soon as I got a chance. Till class 7 I had never spoken to a girl in my class. In class 7 for the first time I spoke two lines to a girl. After that I got a bit less scary of girls but God’s will was still there blindly forcing me do study. I agree it was a good thing that I studied as it benefitted me. But no socializing with people at school cost me so much that I became an impractical theoretical person who has no idea how things work in the world. At a later time when I was in class 12th I realized that something was missing in me. I had no social life with school friends except for a few who in fact became my bestest friends. We became friends in the most strangest manner. In class 8 on the first day I went to the class only to find that I could sit with no one as every desk had two people already. As usual I went and sat in a corner seat alone looking out of the window. Knowing that no one ever noticed that a guy had sat in a seat. I had become I don’t know what but never trusting anyone which straight away meant to me that I should not get close to anyone so that at some later point of time that person does not betray me. How wrong I was. Well then just before the start of class a person enters the room with whom no one wanted to sit as was apparent by their gestures. He saw that only a seat next to me was vacant. He took that seat happily. I never knew that he was going to be my best friend. Thus in class 8 I started to socialize a bit and had made a real good friend. But still there was the blaze that burnt me with the desire to get in the top of the class which was really good to have at that time but impacted my social life which I never cared. I was the worst sort of fellow to have a conversation with who never spoke more than two lines and that too very bluntly which might have hurt quite a few people. Well life moved on and I had 3 very good friends with me when I left school and i really miss the chance of not being able to meet them. Well after 12th I prepared for one more year and cleared IIT JEE which I still respect as “the” toughest entrance exam for getting into an undergrad school. I was still no different than I was in school. The best thing that happened to me that knowing how I was my sister forcefully told me to go to IIT Bombay. I came here and just like the person I was at home started my first year. In the first semester I would have spoken only a few lines a day to my room mate. I felt angry at times. Then the first semester passed with me speaking to only 2 or 3 people of my entire batch of 576. I was satisfied with the 9 point on my grade sheet but somewhere inside my mind I was not feeling okay. I wanted to talk to people and know where they were from. I wanted to listen to their jokes and laugh the whole night. I wanted to have heated debates on topics with my friends but was unable to communicate. In the second semester I tried talking to people in my wing. That interaction in my wing made me realize how good the world can be. How good people can be. I started going to treats with them and became an unseparable part of the wing (Daredevils roxx man). By the end of first year a person like me had reached that stage when I was going to the pizza hut for dinner one night before the exams with my friends. My wingies in first year had made me realize something that if one wants he can never feel gloomy. Sadly we had to separate as different hostels were allotted to us. In the second year I came to our new wing of which I knew nothing. But being a bit more relaxed type of person I started interacting with seniors who were really helpful in seeing to it that I became a strong individual who can never be defeated no matter what comes. I had completely forgotten that studies are something which should be done except when it came to jobs for which thankfully the seniors told me what to do. I had become a normal person by the end of second year first semester and started to enjoy the real college life as they say. Going for biscuits at two in the night to the canteen. Having dinner late in the night. Doing things as and when it pleased me, but not leaving it incomplete. I started to understand more of how life is and as one understands how it is it becomes really difficult to express it in words. I came to appreciate the fact that one has to define his/her own region of operation. They things which according to him/her is the things he should/can do. Anything out of that circle is an error which should automatically mean to be cautious. You can’t avoid problems but with the tools available you can definitely solve them. I can happily say after my third year that I have many good friends now as I have understood that life is meant for living apart from anything else. You have to live it to the fullest and not just one thing.

HTML

2008-02-17T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well this HTML thing used to be my darkside which i always tried to avoid. After a long time a few days back a friend of mine told me to add my pic as the background of my blog. He told me what i had to do in the HTML code. With shaky fingers and sweaty palms i started the whole operation. I first uploaded my pic on picasa. Then i copied the url and pasted in the code at the right place and prayed to god that it worked. On refreshing I saw no changes in the blog and all my hopes fell.
I abandoned the mission and returned to a safe area with no HTML.
Yesterday my friend told me which link i gave for the pic. On seeing picasa hi straightaway said to upload it on flickr.
I agreed promptly (no shaky fingers as he was sitting next to me)
And behold ! after changing from picasa to flickr i again did the same thing and my current pic came in its place.
Ab utna darr nahi lagta hia HTML se...

Control Law for humans:

2008-01-09T03:06:00.000-08:00

The following events happened between 11 30 am and 12 afternoon

Wednesday 9^th Jan 2008

Yesterday night was a lovely one as I had just finished season 2 of 24 and was happy watching it till late night as the coming day (Wednesday , in case you got confused!!) had no lectures. I slept at 3 in the morning hoping to wake by 9 to have the leftovers in breakfast.

Woke up only at 10 when the noise of mu cpu fan became real loud to see what was going on ( turned out that ubuntu was downloading and installing updates). Wearily I took the newspaper in one hand and the mouse in the other hand to check my mails. The shock was waiting in the department mail as my seminar guide had simply ordered for a meeting at 11 am . I became scared but the real bomb exploded later when he said that all subsequent Wednesdays we will have a meeting at the same given slot.

For those ignorant of the fact what the meeting with the guide means:
We basically have to get screwed by the profs for our laziness.

Quickly I dropped the newspaper and opened the seminar folder only to find that I had 50 research papers from which I had to ask some doubts. I browsed through the names of the papers and made up a sinister plan to get away with some fake excuses. The I dressed up as formally I could and went to meet him. After a 15 minutes of tensed waiting I was granted an audience when he directly said “So Achyoot we meet after a long time” I was biting my lip to avoid any further exclamations by him. He asked me my doubts which I promptly showed him and luckily got away with it.

I was about to leave when the COMPLEX deal started (Complex has its own story which I will tell later).Like a triumphed soldier I was up and about to leave after saluting him when he started his general life fundaes. Here is the major portion which I can recall:

Guide : So what do you do in your hostels. ( My guide has done his Btech from IIT Bombay and was a topper and blah blah)

There was an uncomfortable silence with him staring at me with those growling eyes of a silvertooth waiting for a prompt reply.

Me : (Speaking in barely audible tone) Sir it goes just like in any other hostel.

(Without waiting further)

Guide: Haan I understand you have many things to do. How do you guys manage to do some kind of studies? (Now I knew that he was on a recon mission to know how the scenes in hostel have changed over the years)

ME: Sir we have hundreds of distractions so it is really hard. (Only God knows that I wanted to say millions but He told me to sound calm)

Guide: Ya I know that there are always people who say “Arey yaar abhi kya padh raha hai chal CCD se coffee pe kar aate hain and 2 hours are wasted and you cant study”

(I was dying to tell him that it was always opposite . We usually are out with some deadline of submission forcing us to come to hostels to complete it but again God whispered and this is what HE told me)

Me: Sir that is one of the distractions.

Guide: Ya I know it would be very difficult to say no to someone as it would sound very rude and if you say yes always then you are screwed.

(one of my history lessons reminded me of a term called middle path)

Me: That’s why we have to adopt a middle path.

He shot back “ See now you are getting to know controls. Humans are in unstable equilibrium “ (and other control theory jargon applied to humans ). I was seeing a window of exit here as I kept my mouth shut . But like a dirty bomb the main damage started coming now. He told me to submit a report of my work the next day which I promptly denied on the pretext of a 8 to 8 schedule. So he again spoke lucidly telling to submit it by Friday and meet on the coming wedneday with new developments and to carry this Wednesday and Friday report thing always. My jaws dropped and would have fallen on the ground but for the presence of some ligaments and tendons.And then he told me to meet him later ( Basically it means to tell that he has won the battle of screwing me and come next time to get screwed bad again)

I ran out wishing that the day was over but fate seemed to have other plans for me ( good ones I hoped)

2k7 part one..

2007-12-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

The year 2007 began with a boom. I was at marine drive, watching people celebrate the coming of new year in their own unique ways. The poor just wished that the coming year bring them brighter prospects for earning their livelihood more easily than the past year. The not so poor had a special dinner and focused on their long term goals. The rich called or smsed their near and dear ones to wish them a happy new year and celebrated the new year partying in clubs, pubs and any other apt place according to their tastes. The corporate world organized special parties for their employees. There were firecrackers all over the Mumbai skyline heralding the ushering of a new year. While I like a mast less ship stood on the rocks on marine drive enjoying the splendor with my friends and many other people hoping to rope in the sails and move my ship in the dark waters to an unknown destiny. My thoughts were then smashed when I saw the time we had left before the last local left. Dragging my feet I started moving to the train station of dadar. There was a huge crowd with all people wishing to hop on the last local and reach their warm beds. I also hoped of getting a good night sleep before the dawn of my new semester in IIT. We waited eagerly for the train. The train was on time but was packed full with people and I with my 2 years of experience on crowded locals was unable to board the train. A couple of my friends were also unable to board the train. So we deserted the station and went out to catch the night bus to my institute. We reached our hostels at 3 in the morning. And as is said that sleep is the mother of all cures, I slept soundly during the day peacefully forgetting all the tensions of my life and woke in the evening.

The semester started running pretty smoothly with me attending ALL the classes so that I didn’t fall short of attendance. My only concerns were the two math courses that semester taken by the two most notorious professors of IITB.

Then came the month of February when the seniors in our wing had decided to give their job treats. There were a total of 20 people from the wing going for the trip that we had arranged on a weekend to a nearby beach of Dahanu. We started late in the night by the bus which we had booked(the free passengers, the mosquitoes also had a nice time). We had dinner at a roadside dhaba and had loads of fun which I cannot describe here to keep this from getting obscene. We reached our resort at 2 in the morning. After unpacking we went to the beach and started a bonfire and had snacks. We then had a nice time there the whole day and left in the evening. We were passing a beach and we couldn’t suppress our feelings. So we got off and went to feel the smell of the evening breeze. The photographer in Pawan arose and started taking beautiful pictures of the copperish sky.

After the trip nothing of much interest happened in the semester except the scores of lecture slides passed by our profs daily. The end semester exams then nuked us just before our long vacations. My most dreadful nightmares had come true. I was on the border line of passing on math course. After the marks were shown I became very nervous and didn’t sleep the whole night just in anticipation of what was going to happen. The next morning I checked my grades and found that I was the last person to pass the paper and all others below me had failed. I heaved a sigh of relief and headed home where a beautiful summer vacation waited.