For I in range (weekdays)
Life in Kolkata:
Morning 11 am : Wake up hurriedly (the hurry makes me to wake up by 11 45). Get ready for work by 12 15 pm.
12 30pm: On the street looking for a cab to go to office
12 35pm: Punch into office.
12 35pm: Have fruits and head for Bloomberg
12 45pm: On the desk and seeing numbers and charts trying to rack my brains to enter into a trade
1 00pm: Market opens and the slaughter begins
In between 1pm to 5pm: Trade and try(only try.. coz if I struggle then I make losses :P) to make profits and a quick 10 minute lunch.
5pm to 5 40 pm: Locked on to the screen to wait for the US pits to open
5 40pm to 7 00pm: Pits open with a bang and crazy moves. Try to figure out the view of Americans and trade in the most competitive market.
7 00pm: Dow Jones opens and another crazy move occurs
9 30pm till 11pm: The most reactive time of the markets where lots of money can be made and lost… so again glued to numbers and charts
And ya in between 9 30 to 11 pm a small 10 minute dinner break.
11 30pm: Punch out of office
11 30pm to midnight: Look for a taxi to ferry us home.
12 30 am: Reach home
12 30 am to 2 or 3 am: Some stuff here and there at home and then finally try to sleep which is the most elusive of all things.
End
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Digital vs. Analog
An interesting topic to write on especially in this world of automation and computers. Everywhere there is the buzz of computers. Many people also know the mantra of digital and analog devices. Computers heavily rely on digital logic to mimic the analog world. Important thing to note here is that the world is analog and computers working on digital logic are always in a self correcting mode to reduce errors. The analog world works on the principle of flow.
Likewise there are two kinds of people. One of them being the analog types who develop an instinctive gut feel and work on their gut. They also sometimes call it the flow of life wherein they easily feel the situations and react instinctively in the correct manner. The analog kind of people when learn something keep that as a life long fact and never ever repeat mistakes, thus adding to their gut instincts.
Then comes the digital type. Everything for digital people is either 0 or 1. They build their complex logic and lines on the basis of either yes or no, either this or that. This doesn’t mean that they are always like that. They also have complex algorithms to understand when to be in doubt and when to be clear. But the basic flaw in digital people being that they are only trying to mimic the world on the basis of zeros and ones. To overcome this flaw the digital kind of people adopt strict corrective measures at all times so that the error in approximation is kept within limits. There are also thousands of external errors which if being completely new can cause the digital system to add huge errors to their system and still think that they are correct without even knowing that they don’t have a control system for the new kind of error. The control systems of digital people is not that robust as the analog type and thus the digital kind regularly needs some kind of maintenance and overhaul wherein the concerned people stay alone in an environment with virtually no interference and remove the systemic errors, fine tune themselves and make their systems more robust. Analog kind of people do these things unconsciously and that too in a very fast manner as they have developed a gut feel and gut feel is the best thing to work on.
P.S. A lot of control system terminology has been used in the above abstract and thus should be understood by knowing the correct meaning of the terminology.
Also this is an unedited version so might not be a perfect piece....
Likewise there are two kinds of people. One of them being the analog types who develop an instinctive gut feel and work on their gut. They also sometimes call it the flow of life wherein they easily feel the situations and react instinctively in the correct manner. The analog kind of people when learn something keep that as a life long fact and never ever repeat mistakes, thus adding to their gut instincts.
Then comes the digital type. Everything for digital people is either 0 or 1. They build their complex logic and lines on the basis of either yes or no, either this or that. This doesn’t mean that they are always like that. They also have complex algorithms to understand when to be in doubt and when to be clear. But the basic flaw in digital people being that they are only trying to mimic the world on the basis of zeros and ones. To overcome this flaw the digital kind of people adopt strict corrective measures at all times so that the error in approximation is kept within limits. There are also thousands of external errors which if being completely new can cause the digital system to add huge errors to their system and still think that they are correct without even knowing that they don’t have a control system for the new kind of error. The control systems of digital people is not that robust as the analog type and thus the digital kind regularly needs some kind of maintenance and overhaul wherein the concerned people stay alone in an environment with virtually no interference and remove the systemic errors, fine tune themselves and make their systems more robust. Analog kind of people do these things unconsciously and that too in a very fast manner as they have developed a gut feel and gut feel is the best thing to work on.
P.S. A lot of control system terminology has been used in the above abstract and thus should be understood by knowing the correct meaning of the terminology.
Also this is an unedited version so might not be a perfect piece....
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The temple visit
The day began at 4 30 in the morning with me at my brother’s place and having a nice nap when the alarm buzzes me up and the reminder tells me to get ready to drive with my parents to this temple called rajrappa which is around 60 kms from bokaro. My mom was supposed to wake us up and she calls me up at around 4 30 to get ready to leave at 6. But it was our bad luck that we both had gotten ready by then and were pissed off to get up so early after sleeping at 2 in the morning. Anyways mom and dad reached that place by 5 30 and our journey started. The cool breeze was so refreshing that I guess no air conditioner can ever equal the freshness and coolness of that air. My brother and I were sitting at the backseat and were chatting in hushed tones about our fun at college and suddenly laughing on seeing a few things outside. We reached the temple after an hour’s drive where I also had got the chance to drive for some portion on the highway.
Anyways the scene at the temple was like that of a festival even at 8 in the morning with a huge crowd going toward the temple with small goats being towed by them. The speciality of this temple is that animal sacrifice is offered at this place. We went in the queue and started waiting for our turn. While in the queue two guys ahead of us at a turning got so busy in looking over the parapet that they forgot that they were in a queue. My brother noticed the gap in the queue and hinted me that we should just simply go in front of them and thus reduce the waiting time. But by then the people started shouting over the two busy parapet guys to move and our plans were ruined. But the interest in the parapet had grown in all the people there just on seeing the devotion of the two guys towards it. We also saw what it was and for the first time in my life I saw a goat being slaughtered in front of me in the style of a sacrifice.
We moved ahead, went in the temple, did our prayers and then had to return through the place of the sacrifice. The whole path was bloody and I was jumping on the ground like a rabbit to just keep from stepping on blood.
This was the bloodiest temple visit of my life. Some people were shocked at the sight of the sacrifice, some adored it, some were awestruck and some were dumbstruck. I don’t know what happened to me but I surely felt like killing the people who were sacrificing goats.
Anyways the scene at the temple was like that of a festival even at 8 in the morning with a huge crowd going toward the temple with small goats being towed by them. The speciality of this temple is that animal sacrifice is offered at this place. We went in the queue and started waiting for our turn. While in the queue two guys ahead of us at a turning got so busy in looking over the parapet that they forgot that they were in a queue. My brother noticed the gap in the queue and hinted me that we should just simply go in front of them and thus reduce the waiting time. But by then the people started shouting over the two busy parapet guys to move and our plans were ruined. But the interest in the parapet had grown in all the people there just on seeing the devotion of the two guys towards it. We also saw what it was and for the first time in my life I saw a goat being slaughtered in front of me in the style of a sacrifice.
We moved ahead, went in the temple, did our prayers and then had to return through the place of the sacrifice. The whole path was bloody and I was jumping on the ground like a rabbit to just keep from stepping on blood.
This was the bloodiest temple visit of my life. Some people were shocked at the sight of the sacrifice, some adored it, some were awestruck and some were dumbstruck. I don’t know what happened to me but I surely felt like killing the people who were sacrificing goats.
To be or not to be...
The increase in IITs surely has given the people of India a reason to smile. More IITs mean more chance of many other aspiring students to reach the institutes of excellence. The place which proves to be a launch pad for many students to make it big in the world. These and many other “good things” are there with the increase in seats and increase in the number of IITs itself.
But there is a vast difference in what students inside IIT think and what students outside think on this issue. For every IIT aspirant the increase in seats is a welcome gesture. Some of us who study in IITs however have our own reservations. I am just one of the few people voicing my concerns. When we entered IITs there were seven IITs. Now according to latest data there are fifteen. Of the new eight IITs there are none have a permanent campus let alone proper infrastructural facilities required to make it to the standards of an IIT. Many new IITs have their students attending classes in their mentor IITs putting an extra strain on the already poor infrastructural facilities and the staff. The few grave immediate problems which the students will face as I see are as follows: (most of the facts told will be on the basis of IIT Bombay)
1. Accommodation and mess
Well this is a very serious issue with a severe crunch of hostels. Currently there are 13 hostels in IIT Bombay. There are currently 4 hostels catering only to the PGs. And there are PGs distributed in other hostels as well. In the remaining hostels where UGs live there is a severe shortage of rooms already with students poised to remain double till their final year. In IIT Bombay the rooms are meant for single occupancy and except 3 hostels all other rooms are so small that with 2 beds in one room there is no space even to walk let alone sit on a desk and read. In the three hostels with slightly larger rooms the condition is only marginally better. The situation in the mess is such that during lunch time when all the inmates of the hostel go in the mess to eat then there is no space to stand and the food takes like forever to reach due to a lower number of mess staff.
2. Availability of classrooms to conduct classes for larger batches
The scene in the classrooms in a majority of the classrooms is such that if there is full attendance on someday then from the coming batches students will have to sit out of the class and will not even be able to learn a bit. Many classrooms are also ill equipped to handle large number of students with no PA system and the electronic teaching aid meant only for a smaller class.
3. Lesser workspace in labs and fewer faculty for a larger batch of students
The situation in this is even worse. The situation is so bad that if one professor goes on leave or sabbatical or due to some other reason has to miss classes for a week then there are no professors in that field to take over and teach the students. In the current size of classes itself the professors find it difficult to teach the entire class with most of the students not being able to keep up to the mark in the subject. And the result of this is that students who somehow pay less attention in the class or if the professor is unable to convey then most of the class fails in exams.
4. Placements and further studies
This is the most important section for students. After all it is the dream of every student in IIT to get a job which is a bit better than those not in IITs. There are also many who wish to pursue a MS in their subject. For those who wish to pursue MS or PhDs from India or abroad is reducing day by day. And even this class of students wish to have a job first and then see their options in further studies. Considering the fact that IITs are institutes of technologies then there should be enough jobs in each of the branches in India to absorb the students passing out from the IITs. To be frank and being a student who has seen placements for 4 years I have found that there are rarely any technical companies coming to IITs. Their reason: “We cant pay the students the amount of salary being demanded by the placement team.” Why does the placement team demand more salary for the students sitting for placements? The reason is simple that non tech companies are offering huge amounts of salaries in comparison to the tech ones. But the number of jobs created in India in these sectors are not increasing at the same pace as the increment in the number of seats or IITs. Even with lesser strength the placements stats in IITs rarely reach 100% barring a few branches for which the salaries in tech companies are in comparison to the non tech ones. The issue of placement needs an entire blog and I wont be able to do justice to it over here and can only show some points here.
It is a good move to increase the intake in IITs and to increase the number of seats in IITs but the basic issues need to be addressed. I just tried to pen down a few points coming to my mind.
But there is a vast difference in what students inside IIT think and what students outside think on this issue. For every IIT aspirant the increase in seats is a welcome gesture. Some of us who study in IITs however have our own reservations. I am just one of the few people voicing my concerns. When we entered IITs there were seven IITs. Now according to latest data there are fifteen. Of the new eight IITs there are none have a permanent campus let alone proper infrastructural facilities required to make it to the standards of an IIT. Many new IITs have their students attending classes in their mentor IITs putting an extra strain on the already poor infrastructural facilities and the staff. The few grave immediate problems which the students will face as I see are as follows: (most of the facts told will be on the basis of IIT Bombay)
1. Accommodation and mess
Well this is a very serious issue with a severe crunch of hostels. Currently there are 13 hostels in IIT Bombay. There are currently 4 hostels catering only to the PGs. And there are PGs distributed in other hostels as well. In the remaining hostels where UGs live there is a severe shortage of rooms already with students poised to remain double till their final year. In IIT Bombay the rooms are meant for single occupancy and except 3 hostels all other rooms are so small that with 2 beds in one room there is no space even to walk let alone sit on a desk and read. In the three hostels with slightly larger rooms the condition is only marginally better. The situation in the mess is such that during lunch time when all the inmates of the hostel go in the mess to eat then there is no space to stand and the food takes like forever to reach due to a lower number of mess staff.
2. Availability of classrooms to conduct classes for larger batches
The scene in the classrooms in a majority of the classrooms is such that if there is full attendance on someday then from the coming batches students will have to sit out of the class and will not even be able to learn a bit. Many classrooms are also ill equipped to handle large number of students with no PA system and the electronic teaching aid meant only for a smaller class.
3. Lesser workspace in labs and fewer faculty for a larger batch of students
The situation in this is even worse. The situation is so bad that if one professor goes on leave or sabbatical or due to some other reason has to miss classes for a week then there are no professors in that field to take over and teach the students. In the current size of classes itself the professors find it difficult to teach the entire class with most of the students not being able to keep up to the mark in the subject. And the result of this is that students who somehow pay less attention in the class or if the professor is unable to convey then most of the class fails in exams.
4. Placements and further studies
This is the most important section for students. After all it is the dream of every student in IIT to get a job which is a bit better than those not in IITs. There are also many who wish to pursue a MS in their subject. For those who wish to pursue MS or PhDs from India or abroad is reducing day by day. And even this class of students wish to have a job first and then see their options in further studies. Considering the fact that IITs are institutes of technologies then there should be enough jobs in each of the branches in India to absorb the students passing out from the IITs. To be frank and being a student who has seen placements for 4 years I have found that there are rarely any technical companies coming to IITs. Their reason: “We cant pay the students the amount of salary being demanded by the placement team.” Why does the placement team demand more salary for the students sitting for placements? The reason is simple that non tech companies are offering huge amounts of salaries in comparison to the tech ones. But the number of jobs created in India in these sectors are not increasing at the same pace as the increment in the number of seats or IITs. Even with lesser strength the placements stats in IITs rarely reach 100% barring a few branches for which the salaries in tech companies are in comparison to the non tech ones. The issue of placement needs an entire blog and I wont be able to do justice to it over here and can only show some points here.
It is a good move to increase the intake in IITs and to increase the number of seats in IITs but the basic issues need to be addressed. I just tried to pen down a few points coming to my mind.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Snake Vs Prof :P
The class was going on fine as usual with people straining hard to listen to the prof. I on the other hand was continuing with my daily routine in lectures which I had made for this sem. I was playing snake on my cell phone and not listening a bit to whatever the prof was speaking or shouting. I wasn’t even making any noise. The prof gives a problem and starts moving around the class to see the progress of students. I remember his last words which sounded like solve this problem. Loathingly I put my cell in my pocket which with a chocolate as its content was mocking me that it got just some more time before it died in my stomach. Forcibly I took a sheet and solved the problem in an arbit manner which by the way was the correct solution. The prof resumed his lecturing and me playing. This time I was flaunting the cell on the desk conspicuously with zilch amount of attention to what was happening around me. The killer smile of the prof became the guillotine for my execution. Smiling as usual he reached my desk and on hearing a louder voice I quickly held the phone in my hand under the desk. I told him that I had solved the problem he had given and showed him my sheet and wished later on that I had not shown it to him. He straightaway told me that I was doing something on my cell probably messaging (yeah right like anyone is dying for my sms). I said sorry and thought that now he would go away and start teaching. The executioner was not done with me. He wanted to torture my dead body still more and threatened me (this time without the smile) that next time he sees my cell in my hand he will lift and throw me out of the class! I looked shell shocked at him. What the hell just happened to this peace loving prof suddenly. Its not that I had disturbed anyone in the class or was making a noise to get this kind of threat( these kinds of threats are really very dangerous for the CPI health of an individual). He returned to what he was doing and I started writing this on a notebook and the class ended.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Jaane kya hoga … kya hoga … kya pata
Jaane kya hoga … kya hoga … kya pata
The days are gone now when the IITs were considered to be the places where any student would study peacefully in his own room without any disturbance and use the facilities of the department for research. People always blame the students that they neglect studies here in the institute. No one even cares to give it a thought as to why the students are behaving like this. I will tell you how the students here in IITs become like they are seen by the professors. The first year is the year when after 2 or 3 years of hard work a student leaves home for the first time to come to IIT and fulfil his dream of doing research oriented studies. This is what we are best at but in the first year. First few weeks pass by with almost full attendance. In those weeks a lot happens in the hostels which affects the freshies to a great extent. Any freshie coming to IIT knows that in the end he will be surely getting a job in the final year with a very high package. What he doesn’t know outside the insti that those jobs are not from the tech sector of jobs. They are completely different kind of jobs requiring completely different skills altogether. So the first thing happening in the hostels at the mess table is that the freshie just out of curiosity brings a glass for a senior and then asks him about the job scenario. The scenario presented to him shocks the tender mind of a fast maturing brain. And the scenario presented is not a fake one but the truth. The scenario as it stands now is that if one wants to work in India with the aspirations of high paying job in the tech field (barring a few streams) then he would have to remain jobless. Thus the natural question in the young mind comes to be how to get the high paying job which (what the hell) requires some skills completely different from the tech skills being imparted to him in the insti. And thus the freshies are also inducted into the non tech brigade from the first year. Only in third year do those freshies realize that the advice of the seniors in the first year itself had helped them to be in a position to get a good job. The tech interest which should have been groomed from the first year by means of interaction in various research projects doesnot happen. The course structure forces you to study the strict pattern of courses with no emphasis on research. The first interaction with research for any student here at IITB comes in the third year in the form of a seminar. But thanks to the insti the seminar has half the credits in comparison to a theory course. Why will I do any research oriented study if it has very less impact on my grades? So again the insti loses out on many young minds where the seeds of research had survived the flooding in the monsoons but gets crushed in the winter. So the crop now consists only of a few plants struggling to insulate itself from the blinding heat of the insti just so that they can get abroad to realize their dreams of MS or PhD.
The days are gone now when the IITs were considered to be the places where any student would study peacefully in his own room without any disturbance and use the facilities of the department for research. People always blame the students that they neglect studies here in the institute. No one even cares to give it a thought as to why the students are behaving like this. I will tell you how the students here in IITs become like they are seen by the professors. The first year is the year when after 2 or 3 years of hard work a student leaves home for the first time to come to IIT and fulfil his dream of doing research oriented studies. This is what we are best at but in the first year. First few weeks pass by with almost full attendance. In those weeks a lot happens in the hostels which affects the freshies to a great extent. Any freshie coming to IIT knows that in the end he will be surely getting a job in the final year with a very high package. What he doesn’t know outside the insti that those jobs are not from the tech sector of jobs. They are completely different kind of jobs requiring completely different skills altogether. So the first thing happening in the hostels at the mess table is that the freshie just out of curiosity brings a glass for a senior and then asks him about the job scenario. The scenario presented to him shocks the tender mind of a fast maturing brain. And the scenario presented is not a fake one but the truth. The scenario as it stands now is that if one wants to work in India with the aspirations of high paying job in the tech field (barring a few streams) then he would have to remain jobless. Thus the natural question in the young mind comes to be how to get the high paying job which (what the hell) requires some skills completely different from the tech skills being imparted to him in the insti. And thus the freshies are also inducted into the non tech brigade from the first year. Only in third year do those freshies realize that the advice of the seniors in the first year itself had helped them to be in a position to get a good job. The tech interest which should have been groomed from the first year by means of interaction in various research projects doesnot happen. The course structure forces you to study the strict pattern of courses with no emphasis on research. The first interaction with research for any student here at IITB comes in the third year in the form of a seminar. But thanks to the insti the seminar has half the credits in comparison to a theory course. Why will I do any research oriented study if it has very less impact on my grades? So again the insti loses out on many young minds where the seeds of research had survived the flooding in the monsoons but gets crushed in the winter. So the crop now consists only of a few plants struggling to insulate itself from the blinding heat of the insti just so that they can get abroad to realize their dreams of MS or PhD.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
LIVE LIFE….KING SIZE :P
LIVE LIFE….KING SIZE :P
Some people might argue that I have no right to say this statement. But I strongly feel that after reading this thoughts might change. It all began with one day when I was In class 4 or 5. I had no friends. Can’t believe it!!! But its true. I was a stupid person neither capable of making long chats nor a good student. I used to score somewhere in 60s or 70s. I was really fed up with life and no one knew that. Then someone suggested me to study so hard and become the topper of the class so that no one would ever bother me. I, me, myself was the principle which got into my mind. I have to achieve the greatest success in life which no one ever has achieved. So began my journey towards studies. By God’s grace I studied well and in 2 years became the topper in my school. After that every year I almost broke one record or the other in scoring marks in various exams of various teachers. All the while I was ignorant of what life can also have, good or bad. I never socialized. I was afraid of speaking to girls and ran away as soon as I got a chance. Till class 7 I had never spoken to a girl in my class. In class 7 for the first time I spoke two lines to a girl. After that I got a bit less scary of girls but God’s will was still there blindly forcing me do study. I agree it was a good thing that I studied as it benefitted me. But no socializing with people at school cost me so much that I became an impractical theoretical person who has no idea how things work in the world. At a later time when I was in class 12th I realized that something was missing in me. I had no social life with school friends except for a few who in fact became my bestest friends. We became friends in the most strangest manner. In class 8 on the first day I went to the class only to find that I could sit with no one as every desk had two people already. As usual I went and sat in a corner seat alone looking out of the window. Knowing that no one ever noticed that a guy had sat in a seat. I had become I don’t know what but never trusting anyone which straight away meant to me that I should not get close to anyone so that at some later point of time that person does not betray me. How wrong I was. Well then just before the start of class a person enters the room with whom no one wanted to sit as was apparent by their gestures. He saw that only a seat next to me was vacant. He took that seat happily. I never knew that he was going to be my best friend. Thus in class 8 I started to socialize a bit and had made a real good friend. But still there was the blaze that burnt me with the desire to get in the top of the class which was really good to have at that time but impacted my social life which I never cared. I was the worst sort of fellow to have a conversation with who never spoke more than two lines and that too very bluntly which might have hurt quite a few people. Well life moved on and I had 3 very good friends with me when I left school and i really miss the chance of not being able to meet them. Well after 12th I prepared for one more year and cleared IIT JEE which I still respect as “the” toughest entrance exam for getting into an undergrad school. I was still no different than I was in school. The best thing that happened to me that knowing how I was my sister forcefully told me to go to IIT Bombay. I came here and just like the person I was at home started my first year. In the first semester I would have spoken only a few lines a day to my room mate. I felt angry at times. Then the first semester passed with me speaking to only 2 or 3 people of my entire batch of 576. I was satisfied with the 9 point on my grade sheet but somewhere inside my mind I was not feeling okay. I wanted to talk to people and know where they were from. I wanted to listen to their jokes and laugh the whole night. I wanted to have heated debates on topics with my friends but was unable to communicate. In the second semester I tried talking to people in my wing. That interaction in my wing made me realize how good the world can be. How good people can be. I started going to treats with them and became an unseparable part of the wing (Daredevils roxx man). By the end of first year a person like me had reached that stage when I was going to the pizza hut for dinner one night before the exams with my friends. My wingies in first year had made me realize something that if one wants he can never feel gloomy. Sadly we had to separate as different hostels were allotted to us. In the second year I came to our new wing of which I knew nothing. But being a bit more relaxed type of person I started interacting with seniors who were really helpful in seeing to it that I became a strong individual who can never be defeated no matter what comes. I had completely forgotten that studies are something which should be done except when it came to jobs for which thankfully the seniors told me what to do. I had become a normal person by the end of second year first semester and started to enjoy the real college life as they say. Going for biscuits at two in the night to the canteen. Having dinner late in the night. Doing things as and when it pleased me, but not leaving it incomplete. I started to understand more of how life is and as one understands how it is it becomes really difficult to express it in words. I came to appreciate the fact that one has to define his/her own region of operation. They things which according to him/her is the things he should/can do. Anything out of that circle is an error which should automatically mean to be cautious. You can’t avoid problems but with the tools available you can definitely solve them. I can happily say after my third year that I have many good friends now as I have understood that life is meant for living apart from anything else. You have to live it to the fullest and not just one thing.
Some people might argue that I have no right to say this statement. But I strongly feel that after reading this thoughts might change. It all began with one day when I was In class 4 or 5. I had no friends. Can’t believe it!!! But its true. I was a stupid person neither capable of making long chats nor a good student. I used to score somewhere in 60s or 70s. I was really fed up with life and no one knew that. Then someone suggested me to study so hard and become the topper of the class so that no one would ever bother me. I, me, myself was the principle which got into my mind. I have to achieve the greatest success in life which no one ever has achieved. So began my journey towards studies. By God’s grace I studied well and in 2 years became the topper in my school. After that every year I almost broke one record or the other in scoring marks in various exams of various teachers. All the while I was ignorant of what life can also have, good or bad. I never socialized. I was afraid of speaking to girls and ran away as soon as I got a chance. Till class 7 I had never spoken to a girl in my class. In class 7 for the first time I spoke two lines to a girl. After that I got a bit less scary of girls but God’s will was still there blindly forcing me do study. I agree it was a good thing that I studied as it benefitted me. But no socializing with people at school cost me so much that I became an impractical theoretical person who has no idea how things work in the world. At a later time when I was in class 12th I realized that something was missing in me. I had no social life with school friends except for a few who in fact became my bestest friends. We became friends in the most strangest manner. In class 8 on the first day I went to the class only to find that I could sit with no one as every desk had two people already. As usual I went and sat in a corner seat alone looking out of the window. Knowing that no one ever noticed that a guy had sat in a seat. I had become I don’t know what but never trusting anyone which straight away meant to me that I should not get close to anyone so that at some later point of time that person does not betray me. How wrong I was. Well then just before the start of class a person enters the room with whom no one wanted to sit as was apparent by their gestures. He saw that only a seat next to me was vacant. He took that seat happily. I never knew that he was going to be my best friend. Thus in class 8 I started to socialize a bit and had made a real good friend. But still there was the blaze that burnt me with the desire to get in the top of the class which was really good to have at that time but impacted my social life which I never cared. I was the worst sort of fellow to have a conversation with who never spoke more than two lines and that too very bluntly which might have hurt quite a few people. Well life moved on and I had 3 very good friends with me when I left school and i really miss the chance of not being able to meet them. Well after 12th I prepared for one more year and cleared IIT JEE which I still respect as “the” toughest entrance exam for getting into an undergrad school. I was still no different than I was in school. The best thing that happened to me that knowing how I was my sister forcefully told me to go to IIT Bombay. I came here and just like the person I was at home started my first year. In the first semester I would have spoken only a few lines a day to my room mate. I felt angry at times. Then the first semester passed with me speaking to only 2 or 3 people of my entire batch of 576. I was satisfied with the 9 point on my grade sheet but somewhere inside my mind I was not feeling okay. I wanted to talk to people and know where they were from. I wanted to listen to their jokes and laugh the whole night. I wanted to have heated debates on topics with my friends but was unable to communicate. In the second semester I tried talking to people in my wing. That interaction in my wing made me realize how good the world can be. How good people can be. I started going to treats with them and became an unseparable part of the wing (Daredevils roxx man). By the end of first year a person like me had reached that stage when I was going to the pizza hut for dinner one night before the exams with my friends. My wingies in first year had made me realize something that if one wants he can never feel gloomy. Sadly we had to separate as different hostels were allotted to us. In the second year I came to our new wing of which I knew nothing. But being a bit more relaxed type of person I started interacting with seniors who were really helpful in seeing to it that I became a strong individual who can never be defeated no matter what comes. I had completely forgotten that studies are something which should be done except when it came to jobs for which thankfully the seniors told me what to do. I had become a normal person by the end of second year first semester and started to enjoy the real college life as they say. Going for biscuits at two in the night to the canteen. Having dinner late in the night. Doing things as and when it pleased me, but not leaving it incomplete. I started to understand more of how life is and as one understands how it is it becomes really difficult to express it in words. I came to appreciate the fact that one has to define his/her own region of operation. They things which according to him/her is the things he should/can do. Anything out of that circle is an error which should automatically mean to be cautious. You can’t avoid problems but with the tools available you can definitely solve them. I can happily say after my third year that I have many good friends now as I have understood that life is meant for living apart from anything else. You have to live it to the fullest and not just one thing.
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